


Batman Villains x Reader

by TheGodofSmut



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Gotham (TV), Suicide Squad (2016)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Fluff without Plot, Gay Sex, M/M, Reader-Insert, Smut, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-12-31 09:28:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 13,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12129501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGodofSmut/pseuds/TheGodofSmut
Summary: X Readers with the Batman villains like Joker, Eddie, and Harley Quinn. Requests are open, and doesn't matter if they're boyxboy, girlxgirl, those are good in my book. Some will contain smut and mature content. Enjoy!





	1. Joker x FemReader

You were in awe at the fanciness of the building you were standing in. Tonight was Gotham's masquerade ball and you were lucky enough to get in. You were with the rich and wealthy people of Gotham City! The mayor, the doctors and lawyers, even Bruce Wayne decided to show! You felt so excited!

You were wearing a great outfit, a nice fitting, F/C, floor length dress and F/C heels. Your H/C hair was up in a beautiful hairstyle and you were wearing F/C lipstick. You also had a nice felt mask with long feathers.

"This place is beautiful..." you gasped as you walked around. You saw they had wine and went over to pour yourself a glass.

"It sure is." a voice said behind you. You turned around and your jaw dropped. It was Bruce Wayne!

"W-Wha... I-I'm talking to Bruce Wayne..." you stuttered.

"Yeah, I tend to have that effect on people." he chuckled.

"Bruce! Bruce!" a reporter lady called out nearby.

"Oh, sorry. I have to..." Bruce pointed at the lady. 

"Eh, go ahead. I don't really care." you replied. Bruce nodded and left. 

Suddenly, you heard the crowd whisper to themselves. Curious, you set the bottle of wine down before you could pour it and moved through the people to see what's going on.

You saw a group of men standing there and another guy appear. He was a young looking man with grass green hair slicked back, snow white skin, and ruby red lips. He was a black tuxedo with a white shirt, a white bowtie and a cute white flower on the lapel. He had a violet and black mask on. He was holding a gold and purple cane in his white gloved hands.

"Whoa, who is that?" you asked yourself.

"Who knows. But that fella looks pretty hot to me." a woman next to you laughed.

"Huh..." you said. You stared at the man, taking in his features. Then he looked at you. If you were surprised that he started walking towards you, you didn't show it. 

"H-Hi..." you muttered when his face got close to yours. The guy made a rumbling sound(?) and narrowed his eyes. "I-I'm Y/N."

"Shhh..." the man put his finger on your lips. "I'm the Joker." he whispered in your ear.

"Y-You...you're the Joker...?" you asked. He nodded and lifted his mask up. Seeing him up close you noticed he had scars on his face and two tattoos; a fancy J on his cheek and Damaged in cursive on his forehead.

Joker pressed his lips in a thin line and pulled his mask down and backed up. You were just about to sigh in relief when he straightened his lapel and held out his hand. You looked at him, then his hand, then back at him. 

"Well? Go on. I won't bite." he laughed. You hesitantly put your hand on his and he pulled you close. You felt his arm wrap around your back as you both danced. He was a very good dancer, his movements seeming fluid. You were struggling a bit, but you gained a steady rhythm. 

"You dance really good..." you said.

"You're not so bad yourself, princess~" Joker winked. You blushed and smiled. 

"Get ready." he said.

"Ready for wh- Whoa!" you yelped when he tilted you back. You thought your head was going to touch the floor and he pulled you back up. "Oh my God!" you laughed.

"Relax, princess. I'd never let you fall." Joker smirked.

"You almost did." you said, feeling you couldn't help but smile. When he didn't answer, you noticed that he was looking at Bruce Wayne. And that Bruce was also looking at you both. 

"Hey," you said, getting his attention. "Forget playboy over there. Don't tell anyone, but I'm not interested in him." 

"Good. Because I think I'm interested in you~" Joker whispered in your ear. You blushed so much you thought you looked like a tomato. 

"O-Oh really? C-Cause I think I-I am, too..." you tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear.

"You wanna kiss~?" he asked. You immediately nodded and felt the warm lips of the Joker press against yours.

You imagined yourself as one of those cartoon characters starting to become red like a thermometer heating up. 

Joker pulled away and his grayish blue eyes flickered as he looked you up and down. 

"What?" you asked. 

"Nothing. Just that you're very beautiful, princess." he smirked. You felt like you were gonna die from his hotness. 

"Th-Thank you." you mumbled. 

"Let's go. I'm gettin' bored of these high society freaks." Joker said as he grabbed your hand and gathered up his men. You smiled and mentally did a victory dance as you left.

 


	2. Killer Croc x Reader

"Bring him in." you said to Officer Aaron Cash. He nodded and three other guards led Killer Croc in. The crocodile human looked at you and narrowed his glowing yellow eyes. 

"Sit down, freak!" Officer Cash yelled. Croc growled and slammed himself down onto the small chair, snapping the legs off when he did. 

"You can go, Cash." you said.

"You sure, Doc?" he asked.

"Yes, Cash. I think I can handle a crocodile." you chuckled.

"Okay, Doc. I'm still here if something happens though." Officer Cash left the room, leaving you and Croc alone.

" **Well, doc? Is this where you're gonna try to reason with me? Tell me the same lies everyone else has?** _ **Doc?** " _Croc growled. 

"No, in fact..." you shuffled the papers which were Killer Croc's files. "I'm going to be brutally honest with you."

Croc's eyes widened but his expression remained indifferent. 

"So... I hear you've bit Officer Cash's hand off." you said.

" **Yeah? So what?** " he asked.

"Nothing. Just interested in what you would say about this." you mused. 

" **In case ya haven't noticed, I don't _just_  eat hands.**" said Croc.

"Well of course you wouldn't. What with your size, I'd say you consume about a hundred pounds of food per day." 

" **I am a growing boy.** " he chuckled, his laugh a deep rumble in his chest. 

"Speaking of boys, tell me what happened to make you this way?" 

" **They treated me like a monster, so that's what I became.** " 

"Elaborate." you said simply.

Croc grunted in annoyance. " **Why should you care? Nobody else cared about what I did and who I was.** " 

"I guess I'm the first then." you said. He narrowed his eyes again and made a grumbling sound in his throat. "Now please- tell me what happened." 

" **I was abused and tormented. It wasn't just the kids who made fun of me. My own aunt took her turn at hurtin' me. I had enough of that shit and eventually killed the bitch. Everywhere I went, people treated me like a freak. I started eatin' people. Then I got sent here by the Batman. I have his scent, and I hunt him down. But every time he outsmarts me.** " Croc leaned forward on his elbows and licked between his needle-sharp teeth. " **I think you are the first person to actually care...** "

"Of course. It's my job to care about my patients. No matter what they did or who they are." you said. 

" **Ya know... I think you're the first doctor I've had that I'm actually startin' to like.** " Croc grinned.  

"Aw, thank you. And I like you too." you put your hand over your heart. "Now, should we discuss more? How about your time at the circus?"

" **Yeah, sure, Doc. Let the questions rip.** " 


	3. Poison Ivy x FemReader

You hummed happily as you admired the beauty of Gotham Park's flowers and trees. You loved nature, and you hated it when some jerk hurts an animal or cuts trees down for the hell of it. 

You bent down and gently traced your finger on a red tulip's petal. Its texture felt silky smooth. You stood up and went over sat down on one of the park's benches.

"There's so much life here! It's so natural and beautiful!" you breathed in awe. "Too bad people are polluting the Earth and these animals and plants may go extinct..." 

"Tell me about it..." a female voice said behind you. You jumped and looked back, seeing the infamous Poison Ivy standing close nearby. 

"P-Poison Ivy...!" you stammered. You knew that she was a very dangerous villain of Batman. 

"Don't worry. I'm not gonna make spores grow out of your orifices." Ivy smirked.

You chuckled at her joke. You were still aware of her being dangerous, but you also wanted to be friendly. "What are you doing? Getting tired of Batman?"

"Ugh, yes. You know, men can be such a drag. I need somebody playful, somebody who has a sense of humor!" she sighed. 

"I kinda have a sense of humor." you said quietly. 

"You sure look like you do..." Ivy narrowed her eyes. "You wanna have some fun? I know a great spot around here with really pretty flowers."

"Sounds good. Okay." you nodded and she motioned for you to follow her. "Before we go, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't use your mind-control or death powers."

"I won't. You're different. I can trust you." she said. 

"Okay, good. I trust you too. Now that that's out of the way, we can go." you said. Ivy smiled and you went with her to where she was talking about. She was right; the flowers were very pretty, the trees were tall and healthy, there was a pond with fresh water. You and Poison Ivy had a good time, talking about plants and animals, global warming, and other environmental stuff. And you weren't sure if it was you or just her naturally attractive appearance, but you felt like you were starting to have a crush on her.


	4. Riddler x FemReader

You turned the page of a science book you were reading at the library. It was about the human brain and psychology. 

Psychology has always interested you. The way the brain works is the most complex thing known to man. You're taking college classes because you want to become a psychologist or a therapist. 

You turned the page and closed the book, having finished it. Then you grabbed another book from the pile you picked out and opened that one. A guy in a gray suit wearing glasses came over and sat down across from you, reading a book. You looked up briefly and saw it was a riddle book. 

"Did you know that the brain has no pain receptors, so it couldn't feel pain?" the guy asked. You looked up at him and he looked at you.

"Actually, yes. I'm studying psychology in college." you replied. 

"Would you mind sharing some facts?" he asked.

"I'm sure you already know them." you said, pushing your glasses up. 

"Just enlighten me. You seem very intelligent." 

"Alright. You can't tickle yourself because your brain distinguished unexpected touch with your own touch. As you're sleeping, your body a hormone to prevent you from acting out your dreams, leaving you paralyzed. Scientists believe yawning may be a response to an ancient social behavior for communication that humans still have."

"I was right about you. My name is Edward. Edward Nygma." Edward held out his hand and you shook it.

"Nice to meet you, Edward. My name is F/N L/N." you said. 

"Y/N, would you like to get coffee with me when you're done reading?" he asked.

"Sure. Sounds nice." you smiled.

**********

"This is the place." Edward said as he led you inside Starbucks.

"Oh my gosh, I love Starbucks!" you squealed happily.

"This is where I get my coffee. Um, what would you like, Y/N?" he asked. You had to admit, Edward looks cute when he's nervous.

"I'd like a pumpkin spice latte!" 

"I will get that for you," Edward went over to the counter and you watched as he asked the clerk for your coffee. He came back with two lattes and gave you one.

"Thank you, Edward." you said, taking the drink and sipping it carefully.

"You're welcome." he said, sipping his latte.

"Um...so..." you adjusted your glasses. "Would this be considered as a first date?" 

"A first date is not in my intentions, but if you don't mind, then I guess we can consider this one." You could see Edward's cheek turning light red and you smiled.

"Sweet. You wanna do something? Like see a movie or get some books?" you asked.

"Actually, I'd like to show you where I work." he said.

"Really?" 

"Mhm." 

**********

"Whoa, you work as a police officer?" you asked in awe as Edward showed you the GCPD.

"Oh no, I work as at forensics." he said.

"That's even better. You get to work with the police, but you don't have to put yourself in danger's way." 

"Yep." 

You guys both smiled and looked at each other. Your faces blushed red and you guys just kept staring at each other goofily. 

"Hey, Ed. If you're done making goo-goo eyes with the girl, there's a case you need to come check out." Harvey Bullock said, interrupting your guys' time together.

"Oh! I'm sorry. Um, Miss L/N, I hope you had a great time and that we can do something fun again without any interruptions." Edward said.

"Sure. Lemme know when. Oh, never mind, I'll just give you my number." you said as you wrote your phone number down on a piece of paper and gave it to him.

"Thank you. Bye, Y/N." he said. You waved and left the building. Once outside, you jumped in the air and pumped your fist in excitement.

"Whoo!" you hollered. 


	5. Joker x FemReader

You were on the bed laying on your stomach, wearing nothing but a baggy shirt and underwear. You were scrolling through a chapter of a story on Ao3 when the Joker entered the room. You looked up from your phone and he came over and sat down next to you.

"Hey. Whaddup?" you asked, going back to reading.

"Nothin'... Just bored..." he sighed. "Like it's not  _killing_  me, it's just hurting me. Really, really bad."

"Uh huh. Go kill some people. You like that." you said. 

"But I don't  _feel_ like it." 

"I dunno, man. You'll just have to be bored, I guess." you said apathetically. You were too busy reading your story to care.

Joker frowned and peeked over your shoulder and you slowly turned around to look at him, covering your phone's screen with your hand. "Yeeaahhh?"

"Whatcha readin'?" he asked.

"Nooothiiinnn..." you said. Joker raised his nonexistant eyebrow and you just laid there feeling awkward and waiting. 

"Right..." he said, then got up and left. You sighed in relief and went back to reading. "AH HAH!" Joker leaped on you and grabbed your phone. 

"Hey! Gimme that back!" you yelled, trying to get your phone. He stood up and held the phone in the air where you can't reach it. "No, don't read it!"

"Why?" Joker looked at the title of the chapter. "Joker...x Reader...Lemon...?" he read aloud. Your face turned so red when he did. 

"N-No! Gimme back my phone!" you jumped but still couldn't reach it. 

"Uhh, if it has anything to do with me, I don't wanna read it. I've seen what you fangirls come up with," Joker gave your phone back and left for real this time. "Also, we could do that for real! Just saying!"

"Shut up!" you yelled. 

 


	6. SMiH: The Joker

**A/N: Gender doesn't matter for the Seven Minutes in Heaven**.

"I'm bored." Harley Quinn sighed. 

"Me too..." you said.

"Yeah. Nothing's going on." Two-Face groaned in agreement. 

"Oh! How about a game?" Joker chimed in. 

"What kinda game?" you asked. 

"How about Seven Minutes in Heaven?" Poison Ivy asked. Most of the villains expressed their delight and agreement to the idea.

"Oh sweet! I haven't played this game in forever!" you said excitedly.

"Gather around! I have my hat to hold the slips with our names." Edward said and took his bowler's hat off and held it upside-down. "The rules are simple: two people will be randomly chosen via slips of paper, and sent into the private room, or closet, for seven minutes  _only_. After that, you're done. Do whatever in this period of time, but no sex because for obvious reasons. Harvey, can you get us some paper?"

"Yeah, whatev." Two-Face replied, standing up and going into another room. He came back out with multiple sheets of paper. 

"Alright, now tear a piece of paper off and write your names on them," Edward passed pencils around and everyone wrote their name down and put their paper in his hat.

"I hope it's you and me, baby." Two-Face smirked. You rolled your E/C eyes. Joker let out a low growl but didn't say anything.

Edward shuffled the papers around and randomly picked two of them. "The Joker and...Y/N."

Joker laughed and Two-Face growled this time. "Come on, baby. We mustn't waste a second." 

"You have seven minutes." Edward said as he set the timer. Harley Quinn pouted and crossed her arms.

Joker pulled you into the closet and shut the door. You yelped when you bumped into his muscular body and he chuckled.

"It's all good, baby. I don't bite~" he said.

"So...what are we gonna do?" you asked.

"We could make out. Just a suggestion." 

"Sounds like a good suggestion." you smiled. Joker grinned and pressed his lips against yours, wrapping his arms around your body. You moaned and placed one hand on the side of his face and the other on the back of his head. Joker pressed your back against the wall and you wrapped your legs around his waist.

He broke away from your mouth and started to leave kisses on your neck. He bit and sucked the skin, making you moan in pleasure. He smirked and hoisted you up when he felt you slowly slipping down. 

"I-Is...is Harley gonna be mad?" you asked.

"I'll deal with her, baby. Right now, you're the only one I'm worrying about." Joker nipped a tender spot on your neck and you gasped. He chuckled and planted his lips on yours again. He bit your bottom lip and forced his tongue in your mouth. You made a muffled sound, savoring the taste of his mouth. 

You and the Joker were having the best time together in the closet. That is, until Edward knocked on the closet door and said your time was up.

"To be continued, baby~" Joker winked. Your face turned bright red and you both went back out with the other villains. 


	7. SMiH: The Riddler

**A/N: Gender doesn't matter for the Seven Minutes in Heaven**.

"I'm bored." Harley Quinn sighed.

"Me too..." you said.

"Yeah. Nothing's going on." Two-Face groaned in agreement.

"Oh! How about a game?" Joker chimed in.

"What kinda game?" you asked.

"How about Seven Minutes in Heaven?" Poison Ivy asked. Most of the villains expressed their delight and agreement to the idea.

"Oh sweet! I haven't played this game in forever!" you said excitedly.

"Gather around! I have my hat to hold the slips with our names." Edward said and took his bowler's hat off and held it upside-down. "The rules are simple: two people will be randomly chosen via slips of paper, and sent into the private room, or closet, for seven minutes  _only_. After that, you're done. Do whatever in this period of time, but no sex because for obvious reasons. Harvey, can you get us some paper?"

"Yeah, whatev." Two-Face replied, standing up and going into another room. He came back out with multiple sheets of paper.

"Alright, now tear a piece of paper off and write your names on them," Edward passed pencils around and everyone wrote their name down and put their paper in his hat.

"I hope it's you and me, baby." Two-Face smirked. You rolled your E/C eyes. Joker let out a low growl but didn't say anything.

Edward shuffled the papers around and randomly picked two of them. "Y/N and...oh, it's me." He said in surprise, smiling and looking at you. Joker and Two-Face scowled and as you and Edward went into the closet, Ivy came up to start the timer. 

"So...what would you like to do, Y/N?" Edward asked, his cheeks turning a shade of pink.

"Well, maybe we can have some fun?" you asked, smiling. 

"O-Oh, you sure? I don't want to do anything without your permission." Edward stammered, adjusting his glasses.

"Yes, it's fine. Besides...I kinda like you. Well, I like you a lot." 

"Oh, well if we're being honest here, I really like you too and I was hoping it'd be me and you in here." Edward smiled. 

"Now that we've both pushed past the awkwardness..." You pressed your mouth on his, surprising him a little. You placed your hand on his cheek and he put his arms around your waist. Edward moaned slightly as you pushed your tongue into his mouth. You bit his lip and pulled it a little. 

Ed took his glasses off and hooked them on his shirt and peppered your neck with kisses. He was gentle, nipping you softly. You rubbed his head and moaned as he kissed you. Edward trailed his hand down your back and held your waist. He kissed you on the mouth once more, your tongues swirling with each other and licking teeth. 

"Hey, your time's up." Ivy said as she knocked. You both pulled away panting slightly and looked towards the door. 

"Come on it's the rules." Edward said.

"Okay." you sighed. Time flies when you're having fun. You and Edward left the closet and sat back out with the other villains. You glanced at him and you both blushed and looked away. Yep. It sure does fly.

 


	8. Jerome Valeska x Reader

"Get off me!" you yelled as the guards dragged you in. 

"Okay." they said, throwing you into a caged room and quickly locking it up. You ran at it, sticking your hands through the fence holes and clawing at the air. Gritting your teeth, you pulled back and sat down at one of the tables.

"Yeah, that won't work. Lots of these guys already tried." A voice snickered. You turned around and saw a young man with pale skin and ginger hair come over and sit down across from you. "I'm Jerome."

"Hi. I'm Y/N." you said, eyeing him with suspicion and curiosity. 

"Y/N..." Jerome said thoughtfully, leaning on his elbows. "Y/N, Y/N, Y/N. The name just rolls off the tongue." 

"Thanks. Jerome sounds like a nice name, too." you said.

"So what're you in for? Robbing a bank? Setting off a bomb? Shooting a cop?" Jerome asked more excited than he should sound.

"I just murdered my dad. He uh, was very mean to me." you answered. "What'd you do?"

"I murdered my dad  _and_  my mom." Jerome smiled. 

"Oh. Mommy left when I was little." you said, absentmindedly looking at your nails.

Jerome tilted his head, taking in your features, though you didn't notice until he referred to it. "You're cute."

Instantly, you looked at him. "Huh?"

"I said, you're cute." he repeated.

"Oh. Well thank you." you said, turning your head so he couldn't see your blushing face. 

"No need to thank me. I'm just telling the truth." Jerome smiled.

"How long have you been stuck here?" you asked.

"Hm..." Jerome leaned back, rubbing his chin. "Oh, around six months, twelve days, and fourteen hours. Give or take."

"Sooo, they got any stuff to do here, or...? Because I'm bored." you sighed.

"Sadly, no. But we can go and bother the other crazies here." he offered.

"You sure we should do that?" you asked skeptically.

"Ehh." Jerome shrugged as you both stood up. "Hey, how about Frogman?" He pointed at a man with a balding head that was sitting at one of the other tables.

"I guess." you said. You approached Frogman if that was his name and Jerome tapped on his shoulder, making him turn around to face you two.

"So Robert. How's the little froggy in your belly?" Jerome asked.

"He has a frog in his stomach?" you whispered.

"No, but he thinks there's one." he whispered back.

"Hey. What're you two mumbling about? Hoppy says I should strangle you two if you're talking about me." Robert said.

"Oh no, we're not. We're just saying how much we love each other. So much." Jerome said.

"Wait, no w-" He pressed his lips onto yours to stop you from saying anything else.

"Ech. Take your lovey-doveyness somewhere else. Hoppy doesn't like public displays of affection." Robert scoffed. Jerome grinned, walking back to the table you were at previously. 

"Why'd you do that?" you asked, sitting down.

"Do what?" he asked.

"Kiss me." you answered.

"Oh, so you couldn't tell Frogman what we were saying." Jerome answered.

"I think you did that for more than just that reason." you said.

"It was the only way to keep you quiet." he said.

"Uh huh." you said suspiciously.

"If it appears that I like you that way, I'm sorry, because I don't. Not yet, anyways." The last part Jerome mumbled but you were able to hear it.

"Okay. But there were other ways to keep me quiet." you said.

"Yeah, but it was the only one I knew you'd like." Jerome countered.

"I didn't like it." you said defensively.

"Sure. I saw your little cheeks turn red when I kissed you." 

"Whatever. So maybe I did like it." you pouted, crossing your arms. 

Jerome glanced at Robert and sighed. "I thought messing with Robert would've been more fun, but I guess not."

You looked at him and uncrossed your arms. "Yeah... I dunno...you wanna kiss again? Nothing else to do." 

"Eh, I guess." Jerome laughed, sitting down by you and kissing you again, wrapping his arms around your body. You placed your hands on his face and kissed him back, wrestling each other with your tongues. 

"PUBLIC DISPLAY OF AFFECTION!!" Robert shouted from his table. Jerome, still kissing you, held up his middle finger at him.


	9. Joker x MaleReader Yaoi

**A/N: This one's SMUUUT. Enjoy ;-)**

"Hey babe," the Joker said as he was on the floor rummaging through his drawers. 

"Hm?" you asked, looking at one of the various male magazines the Joker picked up when he was out. You were sitting next to him leaning against the wall.

"Have you seen my handcuffs?" he replied, now taking the drawer's contents and scattering them around the floor.

"No, why?" you asked, turning your head to look at him.

"Oh, no reason." Joker answered, but you could tell he was up to something.

"What have you got planned?" you sighed, closing the magazine.

"What, me? Me? What do I have planned?" Joker quickly turned around holding his hands behind his back in an angelic manner.

"If you wanna have sex, just say it." you smirked. 

"Okay yeah, I wanna have sex, you got me." Joker grinned. You laughed and scooted the magazine aside, getting on your knees as you unbuttoned your pants. Joker laughed and pushed you onto your back, pinning your arms by your sides. "Well somebody's already ready for me~"

"I know how impatient you can be~" you said in a husky tone, brushing the back of your hand on the Joker's chiseled cheek. 

"Oh yes, I am impatient." he growled, and pressed his mouth onto yours, kissing you roughly. You moaned and kissed back, running your fingers through his green hair. He moved his arms up to support his muscular body on top of yours, grabbing your shoulders. 

The kiss felt great (like it usually feels, it is the Joker). He always knew how to please you, whether it be neck bites or blowjobs, he made your intimate time together one to remember. 

As the Joker was kissing you, he started tugging at your clothes. Not breaking the kiss, you helped him take your clothes off, and when you two had to break away, you'd get back as soon as possible. Soon you were just in your briefs, and that's when he pulled away to give your other body parts the same feelings of sexual pleasures. 

"How do you want it, babe? Lemme know before I start..." Joker purred in your ear, leaving kisses and bitemarks on your neck.

Shuddering and cupping his neck, you answered, "Give it to me rough..."

"If that's what you wish..." The Joker ran his hands down your exposed body, feeling your soft skin under his firm, masculine hands. As he made his way towards your briefs, you pushed your bottom up, so your lower body was in the air. He smirked slightly and ran his hands down the briefs to between your bulging dick. 

"Somebody's got a hard on~" Joker remarked as he grasped your dick, making you moan. Then he hooked his fingers on the hem of your briefs and pulled down, revealing your dick to the outside. 

"That shows you're doing good." you joked, which got a raised brow (which in all honesty is the funniest thing he does since he has no eyebrows) and lips pressed into a thin line as his reaction. You chuckled. "What, not funny?"

"Baby, leave the jokes to me." he smiled, slipping your briefs down your legs and tossing them nearby. Then he took your dick in his hand, stroking it gently at first then getting faster. You moaned again, moving one leg up and leaning on your elbows.

Joker stroked harder, and soon you were breathing fast and clenching and unclenching your fists, your body close to climaxing. He usually doesn't stop until you release, and sometimes he keeps going after you did, despite your pleas for him to stop. But he does, because he loves you in his own crazy little way in his mind. 

"M-Mm, Joker..!" you moaned out when you hit your orgasm, squirting onto the both of you. He lets you go to unbutton his pants and pulled them down some, showing his decently big dick. You were actually scared the first few times you had sex from how large he was. 

"You ready?" he asked, pulling you closer to him and putting your legs around his waist. 

"Y-Yeah..." you swallowed, and merely winced when he thrusted into you. You became used to his long dick penetrating your ass after a while.

"Comfy?" he asked, and when you nodded, he began, holding your hips as he did. Joker increased his pace, letting go of your hips and leaning forward to kiss your neck. He used his arms to keep his body up as he thrusted, and you had your legs up around his sides and holding onto his shoulders.

"H-Harder..." you whispered, moving one hand to hold his head as he left hickeys on your soft skin.

"If you say so." Joker grunted, thrusting into you harder. You cried out when your prostate was hit, and you briefly saw small lights in your field of vision. He kept ramming your prostate, and you became a sweaty moaning mess underneath him. 

"A-Ahh, Joker...! Nngh!" you gasped, arching your back and bucking your hips to his movements. Your legs were beginning to feel sore and the two of you were throbbing for release. 

"Oh fuck, babe..." Joker grunted, his knuckles turning white as he pressed his fingers against the cool floor.

"J-Joker, I'm about to cum!" you yelled, your grasp on his neck tightening and you cried out as your body shuddered during your orgasm. You were beginning to feel exhausted, but you knew the Joker had to cum too even though you did so you waited for him to be done, which was actually in a few minutes.

The Joker let out a deep moan as his orgasm hit him, cumming inside of you. Then he collapsed on top of you, breathing hard through his nose. You could feel his heart pounding against you and just the feeling of that seemed to soothe you.

"S-So..." he rasped. "How...was that?"

You inhaled and put your hand on his cheek. "Great..."

"Good...cause I think...even I was a little rough on me..." Joker laughed, which was more of a wheeze almost, and buried his face in the crook of your neck.

"Probably..." you said, cracking a grin and stroking his hair and sighing. 


	10. Enchantress x FemReader

"Whoa!" You yelped, one if the rocks under your foot slipping and tumbling down. Luckily, you caught yourself before you could fall and pulled yourself up to continue your journey.

You had been asked to come to this cave for an archaeological find by the government. You agreed, and they sent their best soldier, Colonel Rick Flag to help you.

"Careful! These rocks aren't fully embedded so watch your step!" Rick yelled above you.

"Gee, you think?" You grunted, following him up to the top. Once reaching the top you used the rest of your strength to stand up. 

This is worth it, you thought as you stared into the cave. Just look at this place. These rocks must be thousands of years old. 

"Come on, let's go get that artifact." Rick said, cocking his rifle.

"Honestly, I don't even know why you brought that with you. What, are there gonna be cave monsters that'll jump out at us?" You snorted as you headed into the cave.

"You could say that..." Rick trailed off, looking around cautiously.

"Besides, I wanna know what the US government wants with an ancient artifact anyway." You said, taking out your flashlight and shining it on the stalactites above. The sudden bright light aroused the bats hanging on the rocks and they flew out to the cave's exit, their wings beating loudly.

You laughed a bit, looking back at Rick, who was covering his head with one hand. "Scared of bats?"

"No, just startled me," he replied, standing up straight and walking ahead of you. "Let's go."

"I still wanna know what the government's planning." You said with an insistent tone.

"I'm afraid I can't tell you that, Y/N..." he said, looking around.

"Oh, so it's like confidential information?" 

"Yeah." 

You nodded your head in thought. "Interesting..."

"Still not telling you." 

You scoffed. "I know! Just can't help wondering what it could be."

"Wait." Rick put his arm in front of you and you stopped. Up ahead, there was a small statue-like thing standing upon a pedestal, sunlight shining down on it through a hole in the cave's ceiling.

"This is what we're after..." You said in amazement, studying the small statue closely.

"Yeah. Now just be careful and we'll get that back to the lab." He added, stepping beside you with his rifle ready.

"I have a feeling we shouldn't take this though." You said, standing up and placing your hand on your chin.

"I do too, but we have to do what the big guys say." 

"Well...here goes..." You reached out and took the statue from its place on the pedestal, and after a few minutes, the both of you sighed in relief. 

"We got the artifact, nothing is crumbling to dust...good." Rick said, turning around to leave.

********************

You and Rick were staying in a motel in a nearby city of Peru close to the caves where you came to get the artifact. You were leaving back to the states by plane tomorrow, and he decided it'd be best to get some rest before going. 

Putting the small statue down on the nightstand, you slipped under the covers and turned off the lamp. "Night, Rick."

"Mhm." he mumbled, looking out the window.

Once asleep, you started having the weirdest dream. You were shrouded in darkness, and in front of you was a lady with long black hair covering most of her face, her skin looking grungy and wearing a revealing outfit. 

"U-Um, hello?" you asked. She didn't answer, but just stared at you. To be honest, she looked kinda hot despite the creepy aura she has. 

Still not getting an answer, you looked around. Darkness, darkness, more darkness. Going in a full circle, you turned around back to where the lady was, only to find that she was gone. "Oh great."

Then you felt a hand grab your shoulder and you jumped, startling yourself awake. "Jesus!" 

 _'Break the statue open... Free me and you will be granted unspeakable powers...'_ The wind seemed to speak.

"You alright?" Rick asked. 

"Yeah, just a dream." you laughed, your eyes trailing to the statue. 

"Well lemme know if it's something worth screaming about."

"Gee, you're so considerate." you said sarcastically, going back to bed.

"Yep. That's me..." he muttered.

You opened your eyes, but all you could see was a never-ending darkness. "Ugh, here again?" You attempted moving around, flailing your arms and legs in a swimming motion but all you accomplished was twirling yourself around. "Hellooo? Mystery lady?"

Again, you didn't receive an answer and you expected that by now. Aaaand you managed to turn upside-down and was floating around aimlessly like that. 

Mystery lady appeared in front of you out of nowhere making you shudder.  **"Free me from this artifact, my child, and you will be granted with unspeakable powers."**

"Huh, I guess that sounds nice," you replied, still floating around. "No, wait..."

Mystery lady raised an eyebrow. 

"Can I take you on a date?" you asked. 

 **"I haven't the time for romance, child."**  she said. 

"Okay, how about this: I take you on a date, and if you don't like it, then I can just settle for the unspeakable powers." 

Mystery lady's eyes flickered in contemplation and she held out her hand, and you suddenly stopped twirling and was frozen.  **"So be it. I look forward to your plans."**

"Yay, I got a date with...what's your name?" you asked.

 **"You may call me Enchantress."**  

"Cool, cool. Can I wake up now?" 

Enchantress snapped her fingers and you opened your eyes, seeing the motel room's ceiling. You sat up, looking at the statue and smiling.

"Another bad dream?" Rick asked.

"Nope," you answered, facing him. "I got myself a date."

Rick stared at you for what seemed like a while and rolled his eyes. "Remind me to not ask you about your dreams from now on, Y/N."

"Duly noted." you said. 


	11. Penguin x MaleReader

"C'mon, please, Y/N! I rarely ask of you for anything!" Oswald griped. 

"Ozzie, how many times must I say it? I don't have the time to care for an animal." You groaned. 

"You wouldn't have to care for it! I could! Please, Y/N. It'd be nice to have a pet around." Oswald said beggingly, limping towards you and placing his hands on your chest. 

"No." You said for the thousandth time.

"Please."

"No."

"But I want one!"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because."

"That's not a valid answer."

"No pets."

"Fine then. You leave me no choice." Oswald stepped back some and took a deep breath, his cheeks inflating. At first you raised your eyebrow to see what he was getting at by doing this, then you realized.

"Stop it, Oswald. Holding your breath isn't gonna help." You said. He mumbled in his mouth, still not breathing. "Ozzie, come on." 

"Hey boss. Hey Y/N," Butch said as he came in and stopped when he saw Oswald. "Whoa, what's happening?"

"He wants to get a pet and I said no and now he's holding his breath." You sighed.

"Huh."

"Oswald, come on. You're gonna pass out from oxygen deprivation or whatever." You said, standing up and grabbing his shoulders.

"Mm-mm." He shook his head. 

"If I say we can get a pet, will you stop and breathe please?" You asked. 

"Mm-hm." He nodded.

"Alright," you sighed, can't believing that you gave in. Damn him for being an adorable little bastard. "Dog, cat, or other?"

Oswald opened his mouth and took a deep breath and hugged you tightly. "Oh, thank you! I'll take excellent care of it!"

"Okay, just don't do that again, please." You said, bringing your arms up around his small body. 

"Yes, yes, I won't." He said, looking up at you.

"Thanks." You bent down to kiss him and put a hand on his head, lightly scratching his roughed-up black hair.

"What was it you needed, Butch?" Oswald asked after breaking the kiss, turning his head but not letting you go. 

"Gordon wants to talk to you." Butch said.

Oswald said nothing, and reluctantly let go. "Tell him I'm coming."

Butch nodded and left. 

"Be careful, Ozzie. Jim's still a cop." You said, caressing Oswald's cheek. 

"He's a friend, Y/N, and I owe him a favor. But I appreciate your concern for me." He said, taking your hand and squeezing it slightly before walking away, letting go as he became out of reach.

"Jim! How are you, old friend?" Oswald asked, smiling.

"Hi, Penguin. I need to ask a favor." Jim said.

"Of course. What are friends for?" 

Jim looked around for a moment, his hands on his hips. Before saying what he was going to, he spotted you creeping out, peering behind the wall. "Who's that?" 

Oswald turned to you and grinned, looking back at Jim as he went over to you and put your arms around him. "Jim, this is Y/N. He is my boyfriend." 

"Huh. Nice to meet you, Y/N." Jim said, but with uncertainty. 

"It's nice to meet you too, Gordon." You said with the same uncertainty as well.

Jim stared at you for a couple seconds and turned to Oswald. "Penguin, I need you to help me."

"With what?" The other asked.

"Do you know this person?" Jim pulled out a folded paper and showed Oswald. It was a picture of a man somewhere in his 40's, dark hair with gray streaks. 

"I'm sorry, Jim, but I don't." Oswald shook his head and shrugged.

Looking at him suspiciously and putting the paper back in his suit jacket, Jim said, "Okay. Thanks anyway."

"Of course." Oswald replied. Jim left and you looked at the shorter man.

"You do know that guy, don't you?" You asked.

"Yes, but I'll deal with that later. We have a pet to get and stuff to do." 

"You'll be taking care of it." You reminded him.

"Yes, I will. Again, thank you, Y/N." Oswald buried his face into your chest and you rubbed his back. 

"You're welcome, my little penguin." You said.


	12. SMiH: Harley Quinn

**A/N: Gender doesn't matter for the Seven Minutes in Heaven**.

"I'm bored." Harley Quinn sighed.

"Me too..." you said.

"Yeah. Nothing's going on." Two-Face groaned in agreement.

"Oh! How about a game?" Joker chimed in.

"What kinda game?" you asked.

"How about Seven Minutes in Heaven?" Poison Ivy asked. Most of the villains expressed their delight and agreement to the idea.

"Oh sweet! I haven't played this game in forever!" you said excitedly.

"Gather around! I have my hat to hold the slips with our names." Edward said and took his bowler's hat off and held it upside-down. "The rules are simple: two people will be randomly chosen via slips of paper, and sent into the private room, or closet, for seven minutes  _only_. After that, you're done. Do whatever in this period of time, but no sex because for obvious reasons. Harvey, can you get us some paper?"

"Yeah, whatev." Two-Face replied, standing up and going into another room. He came back out with multiple sheets of paper.

"Alright, now tear a piece of paper off and write your names on them," Edward passed pencils around and everyone wrote their name down and put their paper in his hat.

"I hope it's you and me, baby." Two-Face smirked. You rolled your E/C eyes. Joker let out a low growl but didn't say anything.

Edward shuffled the papers around and randomly picked two of them. "Y/N and...Harley."

The Joker grit his teeth that not only was he not chosen, but that you were going to get intimate with  _his_  Harley. Harley looked happy and Two-Face simply scowled.

"Well c'mon, sweetface, we only got seven minutes!" Harley laughed as she pulled you to the closet. Once the door was shut, you looked at her. "What? I got somethin' on my face?"

"No, just thinking of what we should do." you replied.

"We could kiss an' stuff." she shrugged.

"Wouldn't the Joker get super pissed though?" you asked. You really didn't want to face his wrath.

"Eh, what he won't know won't hurt him." 

"That...is bad logic." 

"What, ya wanna just stand around in here and do nothin' then?" 

"Well...no...but like, I don't wanna get murdered by Joker." you said.

"Look," Harley said. "In life, ya gotta take risks sometimes."

You sighed. "Okay, but if he tries to kill me, I'm blaming you."

"That's the spirit, sweetface. Now pucker up." she smiled. You chuckled and she pressed her lips on yours, holding your face. You kissed back and put your arms around her body and flinched when she bit your bottom lip. She moved away from your mouth and left kisses along your jawline, nipping your skin. 

This is actually nice, you thought. Maybe it is worth it if you ever get murdered by the Joker. Well, more like when you get murdered. 

"Hey, time's up." Edward said as he knocked on your door. Harley stopped and you groaned. Time to face the music.

"Hey, don't worry." Harley said.

"Easy for you to say..." you mumbled. The Joker was standing by the counter with Two-Face and Ivy and when he saw you, he literally glared daggers at you. You gulped and smiled, waving nervously. He legit curled his lip back like an animal and looked away. 

"Well I guess that could've been worse..." you said.

"See? I told ya, it'd be okay," Harley said as she opened the fridge and grabbed a can of pop. "But just in case, buy a plane ticket, get a new identity an' fly far away."

"Thanks." you said apathetically.


	13. SMiH: Killer Croc

**A/N: Gender doesn't matter for the Seven Minutes in Heaven**.

"I'm bored." Harley Quinn sighed.

"Me too..." you said.

"Yeah. Nothing's going on." Two-Face groaned in agreement.

"Oh! How about a game?" Joker chimed in.

"What kinda game?" you asked.

"How about Seven Minutes in Heaven?" Poison Ivy asked. Most of the villains expressed their delight and agreement to the idea.

"Oh sweet! I haven't played this game in forever!" you said excitedly.

"Gather around! I have my hat to hold the slips with our names." Edward said and took his bowler's hat off and held it upside-down. "The rules are simple: two people will be randomly chosen via slips of paper, and sent into the private room, or closet, for seven minutes  _only_. After that, you're done. Do whatever in this period of time, but no sex because for obvious reasons. Harvey, can you get us some paper?"

"Yeah, whatev." Two-Face replied, standing up and going into another room. He came back out with multiple sheets of paper.

"Alright, now tear a piece of paper off and write your names on them," Edward passed pencils around and everyone wrote their name down and put their paper in his hat.

"I hope it's you and me, baby." Two-Face smirked. You rolled your E/C eyes. Joker let out a low growl but didn't say anything.

Edward shuffled the papers around and randomly picked two of them. "Croc..."

There was a few jeers and snickering. Edward cleared his throat. "Croc and...Y/N."

There was a lot of commotion when he announced that, and you looked at Croc to see his reaction. He was shocked, his golden eyes wide and his toothy mouth agape. Frankly, you couldn't help but laugh at his expression.

"Um...you guys have seven minutes." Edward said, adjusting his glasses. Killer Croc grunted, standing to his full height and waiting for you by the closet door. You smiled at him, making him widen his eyes again before ducking to fit inside the closet.

"So...it's you and me..." you said, turning a bit red. Despite Croc's reptilian appearance, you found him quite attractive.

Croc just grumbled and slid to the floor, folding his legs. 

"What's wrong?" you asked.

 **"Nothin'."**  he grunted.

"It's cause they couldn't believe that it was you and me, right?" 

He snorted, a gust of air coming out his nostrils.  **"I guess."**

"I don't mind that you're a crocodile, you know." you said, scratching the back of your neck. 

 **"I could kill ya. Eat your flesh."** The way he said was not in a threatening but more of an undeniable manner. 

"You probably could." you replied.

**"Why ain't you scared of me? A regular kinda person like you would be backing into the corner or yelling to be let out."**

"Well...I'm really not afraid...and I don't care that you're a crocodile. To be honest, you're kinda hot. You know, for a reptile man." You reddened. 

Croc rumbled, and you realized it was him laughing.  **"You're different from them."**

"Different is good." you said. "Can we uh, do..." You put your hands together to represent kissing.

 **"Be careful."**  he said, and you knew he was talking about his teeth. You nodded and kissed him. His lips were scaly but softer than his other body parts. You could taste his last meal on his mouth, but strangely, it didn't phase you. 

You almost pulled away out of surprise when his tongue went into your mouth. It moved around, touching the roof of your mouth and playing with your tongue. 

You moved closer to him, putting your arms around his neck and letting him overtake you. He wrapped one arm around your back and the other around your neck to hold your head. 

You moaned, moving your hands to his chest and feeling the tough, scaly skin. Jesus, his muscles are so big! Croc pulled away to kiss your neck.

"Don't bite too hard..." you breathed, tilting your head up. He grunted, leaving kisses from your jawline to your collarbone, biting and licking your skin. Oh, your skin is going to have noticeable marks later. 

You flinched when he accidentally bit too hard, and he realized this, licking the bite to make it feel better somehow. You nudged him with your cheek as a signal that it was alright and he made a rumbling sound that was the equivalent to a purr.

"Hey lovebirds, time's up!" Two-Face yelled, banging on the door.

Croc pulled away and you were disappointed that it had to end. "Wanna sit together?"

He grunted in agreement and picked you up, carrying you out of the closet. He hissed loudly at Two-Face when you passed him, and he set you down gently before plopping on the floor next to you. 

"Ech, Y/N probably has fish breath now." Harley whispered. You frowned, moving onto Croc's lap and resting your head on his chest just to spite everyone else. 

"Don't listen to them, big guy. They're just jealous." you said, patting his chest. He let out a purr and put his chin on your head.


	14. Penguin x MaleReader Yaoi

**A/N: More smut! With Pengy!**

"What are you watching, Y/N?" Oswald asked as he sat down beside you. You snickered when he asked that. "What?"

"It's Animal Planet..." you laughed. "About penguins!"

Oswald frowned and crossed his arms. "Well I'm glad you find Antarctic birds to be hilarious."

"Hey, c'mon, Ozzie. I'm just messing around." you said, scooting closer to him. You took his hand and placed it on your cheek while you put your other arm around his body. "You know, we could...do some biology research..."

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"We could do some...fieldwork on how penguins reproduce~" you said, loosening his tie and starting to unbutton his shirt. Oswald's face turned red and he grabbed your hands, squeezing them slightly.

"U-Um...I dunno...penguins usually don't like to be observed when they're in the act of coitus." he said. 

"They wouldn't know we were even there~" you whispered in his ear, making his whole face flush red. He grabbed your shirt and buried himself in it. 

"I guess we should get to their habitat, don't you think, Ozzie~?" you asked, brushing your lips on his cheek.

"I-I guess..." he said, looking up at you. 

"Let's go then." You lifted him up and carried him in your arms to your bedroom. Setting him down on the bed, you immediately started stripping out of your clothes and as you did, Oswald couldn't help but stare. "Like what you see?"

"Y-Yes." he said, making you laugh. You lunged on top of him, pushing him onto his back and staring into his eyes. "U-Um..."

"Sh sh shh..." You put your finger on his lips, then took your hand away and replaced it with your mouth. He moaned in surprise but kissed back, closing his eyes and wrapping his arms around your neck. You deepened the kiss, swirling your tongue inside his mouth and the two of you tongue-wrestling. 

Oswald ran his fingers through your hair and nipped your lip. You moved from his lips to his neck, kissing and teasing his Adam's apple. You could feel the vibrations of his moans as you did. 

"It-It's hot..." he panted, holding the back of your neck. You felt his bony fingers run over your neck bones. 

"Okay, Ozzie," you replied, unbuttoning the rest of his shirt and helping him out of his clothes. Once he was fully unclothed, Oswald pulled you close and kissed your neck this time. You trailed your hands down his bare back and grabbed his butt, making him let out a cute whine. He scowled at you, and you couldn't help but laugh. Then he pushed you onto your back and straddled your waist. 

"That wasn't funny." he said, grabbing your wrists and putting your arms around him. 

"It was a little funny." you said, bringing him down so you could kiss him on the mouth. He brought his hands up and cupped them around your neck, the two of you fighting for dominance. You let out a moan when he bit your lip and pulled it some. You took Oswald's legs and pulled them up to you sides, then sat up, making him almost fall back but he was clinging to your shoulders. 

"Are-Are we doing it now?" he asked, the evident redness in his freckled cheeks showing.

"Yeah, if you're ready." you replied, booping his pointed nose with a finger and he flinched. 

"W-Well, I guess I am..." he said. 

"If you're sure, we can start." you said, caressing his cheek with your thumb.

"Yes, I'm sure." Oswald said, taking your hand and putting it on his chest. You nodded and lifted him up, setting him on your already erected cock, which earned a sharp gasp from him. Oswald shifted to get a better position and you laid back down, using your elbows to keep you up.

He rocked his hips, holding your sides and bending down to kiss your chest. You put your arms around him, running your hands through his raven hair. Oswald bit your nipple, rolling his teeth over the sensitive skin and licking it. You let out a deep moan, trailing one hand down to his cock and grabbing it firmly. You ran your thumb over the head and started pumping him, bucking your hips to his rocking.

"Ho-How's your _-ah~_  research g-going, Y/N?" Oswald asked, looking up at you and putting his hand on top of the one you were pumping him with.

"W-We're getting good results." you replied. The two of you were getting sweaty as you approached your climaxes. Oswald was hard in your hand and you were starting to throb. "I-I guess I found out what p-penguins like..."

"I-Is that so?" he panted as you pumped faster. His body shuddered and he gasped, his cock going limp in your hand after his orgasm. Still, he kept rocking, and you reached your climax in a couple minutes, cumming inside him. Oswald huffed, pulling himself off of you and laid next to you, hugging you close. 

"That was great..." you sighed, patting his back and smushing your cheek against his. 

"Don't you ever speak of this to anyone." he said.

"Okay, I won't!" you laughed. You thought it was adorable when he tried to be intimidating. 

"I'm serious." he mumbled, closing his eyes and hiding his face in the crook of your neck.

"I won't, Ozzie." you repeated, stroking his hair and planting a kiss on his shoulder.


	15. Riddler x Reader

"Ed...?" you called out, sniveling and rubbing your wet nose with the back of your sweater sleeve. You grabbed a tissue and blew your nose, then clutched the blanket around you. 

"In here, I'm here." Edward answered as he came into the room holding two mugs of fresh tea. He handed one to you and you held it with both hands. "Careful, it just came from the pot." 

"Thank you, Ed." you said, your voice sounding nasally from not being able to breathe regularly. You carefully sipped the tea and placed the mug on the table.

"Is there anything else you need? Some cough syrup? Another box of tissues?" Edward was obviously worried about you. You could see it in the way he's rubbing his hands together.

"No no, I think I'm good." You cleared your throat and coughed a little.

"If you're sure..."

"Yeah, I'm sure. But I dunno, I guess put in a movie or something." You shrugged.

Then Edward had an idea. "What if...I read you a book?"

"Um...okay." you replied, guessing that's good too. He smiled and left, coming back holding a big book. 

"What book is that?" you coughed. 

"This is a fable book. It has several stories. Which one would you like me to read?" Edward asked, holding the book to his chest. 

"Um...whichever one you pick is fine." you said. 

"Oh. Hm, alright..." You smiled a bit when you saw him stick his tongue out a little as he flipped through the pages. "Here. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland."

He cleared his throat and began to read. 

_"All in the golden afternoon_

_Full leisurely we glide;_  
For both our oars, with little skill,   
By little arms are plied,   
While little hands make vain pretense   
Our wanderings to guide.   
  
Ah, cruel Three! In such an hour,   
Beneath such dreamy weather,   
To beg a tale, of breath too weak   
To stir the tiniest feather!   
Yet what can one poor voice avail   
Against three tongues together?   
  
Imperious Prima Flashes forth   
Her edict to "begin it"--   
In gentler tones Secunda hopes   
"There will be nonsense in it"--   
While Tertia interrupts the tale   
Not more than once a minute.   
  
Anon, to sudden silence won,   
In fancy they purse   
The dream-child moving through a land   
Of wonders wild and new,   
In friendly chat with bird or beast--   
And half believe it true. 

You blinked your eyes blissfully at the sound of his voice.

 _"And ever, as the story drained_  
The wells of fancy dry,   
And faintly strove that weary one   
To put the subject by,   
"The rest next time--" "It is next time!"   
The happy voices cry.   
  
Thus grew the tale of Wonderland:   
Thus slowly, one by one,   
Its quaint events were hammered out--   
And now the tale is done,   
And home we steer, a merry crew,   
Beneath the setting sun.   
  
Alice! a childish story take,   
And with a gentle hand   
Lay it where Childhood's dreams are twined   
In Memory's mystic band,   
Like pilgrim's withered wreath of flowers   
Plucked in a far-off land..."

Edward looked to you and saw that you were half-awake. "Would you like me to read more?"

You yawned silently and shook your head. "Nah, I'm good..." 

"If you say so. Would you like anything else?" 

"Nope." You shimmied further into the blanket to where only the top of your head and eyes were showing. Edward sat down next to you and leaned against your body, putting his arm around you. You closed your eyes and breathed out.

********************

**A few days later**

You heard multiple sneezes coming from the living room so you rushed out to see. Edward was kneeling down picking up his glasses and inspecting them. "Ed, you okay?" 

"Yes, just a few sneezes." he laughed, and put his glasses on.

"Uh oh, I think I got you sick." you said.

"I think so, too." 

You smiled. "Sorry."

"No, no, it's fine. It was bound to happen." he said, wiping his nose with the back of his hand.

"Want me to make some tea and read some fables?" you asked.

"That would be nice."


	16. Joker x Reader

You were waiting for the Joker to come back from his usual business out in Gotham. He's been gone for almost five hours now. What's taking him so long? Is he hurt? Did his archenemy Batman get him? Your mind was just buzzing with so many questions that it gave you a headache.

You trudged into the bathroom, looking for Advil. Opening the cabinet, you found a box and graciously took it, popping one of the pills in your mouth and swallowing. When you closed the cabinet, you heard a loud thump and a familiar voice groaning. Rushing out, you saw it was the Joker, who was kicking his boots off and frantically pulling his upper clothes off. 

"Babe, you okay?" you asked hesitantly when you saw that he in fact  _was_  hurt. 

"No..." he hissed, doubling over and hugging himself. You approached him and carefully placed your hand on his back. 

"What happened?" you asked more confidently this time.

"Nothing." Joker grunted, looking up at you. 

"This doesn't look like nothing..." You pointed to a piece of something, probably metal, embedded in his side. 

"I'm fine!" he yelled, grimacing as he pulled the thing out. You winced. It was in deeper than you thought. 

"You're not fine. Let me help you." you coaxed him to relax and sit down on the floor and you inspected the cuts and bruises on his body. "What happened?"

He looked away, breathing out harshly and chewing his bottom lip rather hard. You brought your hand up to touch his cheek and he flinched. 

"What happened?" you asked one more time, more softly, your eyes wide with concern and curiosity.

"I was getting you something!" Joker shouted, his eyes glazed over and flickering quickly. You stayed silent and waited for him to continue.

"I was getting you a gift, okay? And then we got hit...by some truck. It was one of those semis. The other guys didn't make it." He clenched his jaw and breathed in.

You shifted slightly and took his hand, giving it a little squeeze. "What were you going to get?"

"I was gonna get you a necklace. With a little jester head. I figured we had some time to go get one when we were done." 

"Babe, you didn't have to." you said, running your other hand through his disheveled hair.

"I know. I wanted to." he replied. 

"We have to get you to a doctor." You gently pressed his head to your chest and kissed his temple. 

He quickly pulled away. "No! No doctor!" 

"You  _need_  to see one, J. You just had  _that_  in your side!" You pointed firmly at the bloody object that lay on the floor.

"No! I don't wanna go to a doctor!" Joker whined, shrinking back and clutching his hair.

"Why?" you asked.

"Doctors have needles! And they stick their hands in places!" He shuddered and curled up into a ball.  _"Evil."_

You had to admit, it was kinda cute that he didn't want to go to a doctor but in this serious case, he has to. "Joker, if you don't go, then...then I'm withholding sex." 

That got his attention. "No. Not that. Please." 

"Then go to a doctor. Or you can forget ever having sex with me for the rest of your life." You crossed your arms and sat with a smug posture.

"Okay, okay! I'll go to a doctor! Just don't take away the sex!" Joker begged.

"Good." You pecked his lips and smiled. "We'll go now." 

He groaned and laid on his back, staring up at the ceiling as you pulled your shoes and hoodie on. 

"If there's needles,  _I'm_  going to be the one who withholds sex." he said, making you laugh.


	17. Joker x FemReader Lemon

"Y/N..." Joker whispered in your ear as he caressed your thighs with you sitting between his legs. He pressed his forehead on the base of your neck and you welcomed the warm feeling. He brushed his lips on your skin and you felt a tingling sensation on your neck. 

"J..." You said as you took his hand and entwined your fingers. Joker slipped his other hand under your shirt and you felt his slender fingers trace your belly. 

"Baby, I wanna fuck..." He mumbled, smushing his cheek on your shoulder. 

You flushed red and smiled. "Um, sure."

His head rose up. "You serious, babe?"

"Yeah. I've been thinking about it." You answered. 

"Let's fuck then." He grinned. Joker nipped your skin and rolled it between his metal teeth. You turned yourself around so that you were facing him and locked lips with his. He held your hips and you put your arms around his neck. 

Your lips moved in sync with his and you granted his tongue entry. His tongue slid against yours and you felt his teeth graze your tastebuds. Joker bit your bottom lip and you let out a small gasp. You took it as a challenge and bit him back, which earned you a harder bite. 

"Uh uh, baby~" He growled in your ear and then put his mouth on your neck. He began to suck and bite, and you knew there would be a hickey there later. 

You moved your hand to hold his head, burying your fingers in his emerald hair. He moved his hands down and squeezed your ass. 

"These need to go." He ordered and you stood up briefly to pull down your pants and remove your shirt. He looks at you with a tilted head and a hungry lustful stare. "Everything."

You giggled and slipped out of your bra and underwear and proceeded to sit back down in his lap. "Is this better?"

"Yes." Joker answered, placing his hand on your bare ass as if he was saying "I own this". 

"I can't be the only one exposed here, J." You smiled, putting the palm of your hand on his cheek. 

"I guess I can do something for ya, princess~" Joker unbuttoned his pants and let his cock out. "Suck it, babe."

You complied, kneeling down and taking him in his mouth. He was half-hard, but you had a feeling it won't take much to get him fully erect. You bobbed your head and Joker put his hands in your hair, grabbing a handful and pushing you along to your bobbing. You ignored the gag reflex when the head of his cock touches your throat. 

"Fuck..." He whispered and tilted his head back as he savors this pleasure that you're giving him. You don't stop until he gently pushes you off. "Get on." 

You stood up and grabbed his shoulders as you climb onto his lap. Joker uses one hand to guide himself inside you and you slide over him. You can feel his cock inside; you didn't realize how big he was until now, and you just blew him! 

"Good?" He asked before doing anything. 

"Uh huh." You said, wrapping your arms around him. You used your knees to move up and down. Joker decides to lend you a hand by grabbing your ass and lifting you up. 

Of course, your legs start hurting a bit from riding him but you ignore it. It doesn't hurt that much and you can keep going. Meanwhile, Joker is rubbing his hands up and down your back and leaves kisses on your neck and shoulders. You push his head up to kiss him, and he gladly takes it, the kiss being more soft than the last. His lips brush against yours and the bites are less hard. 

"Are you enjoying this?" He asked between kisses. 

"Yes." You moaned, running your hands through his hair. You felt a knot form in your stomach as your orgasm approached. Joker takes his hand and decides to rub his finger on your clit, adding more pleasure. 

"Oh God...!" You cried out from the stimulation. You tensed up, waiting for the orgasm to come. In a few more thrusts, you tightened your hold on him and your body shuddered as you came. 

Joker lifts you off his hard cock and you were confused. Didn't he want to have an orgasm? 

"Why'd you take me off?" You asked. 

"I'm not looking forward to getting you pregnant right now, princess." He said, helping you gather your clothes but without getting off the couch. 

"But what about your...?" 

"I'll just jack, I guess." Joker shrugged. 

"Alright. I'm gonna take a shower, okay?" You said. 

"Yeah, fine." He said with a shoo of his hand. You snorted and left for the bathroom.


	18. Valentine's Day: The Riddler

Y/J = Your Job

F/B = Favorite Book

You sighed as you stared at the table. You looked in the window of the café you were sitting outside of and saw couples, laughing and enjoying themselves. You furrowed your brows and turned away. 

"Is this table taken?" A voice asked. You looked up and saw a man with fair skin and brown hair. He was wearing a green suit and had black rimmed glasses and he was holding a book in his hand. 

"No. It's just me here." You answered, resting your chin on the palm of your hand. 

The man sits down on the chair opposite of you and places his book on the table. "Not feeling the holiday vibe, huh?"

"Nope." You said. 

"I don't like Valentine's Day that much either. It's basically romantic propaganda." He added.

"Meh, it just stings seeing people together when I can't find a special guy." You replied. 

"Hm. Perhaps you will." He adjusted his glasses. 

"I'm Y/N." You greeted, holding your hand out. 

"Edward Nygma." He shakes your hand. 

"Nice to meet you, Edward." You smiled. 

"As to you, Y/N. Do you have any plans?" 

"No. Wanna walk around?" You asked as you stood up. 

"Sure." Edward stands up too and you both head down the sidewalk. 

"Soo...what do you do?" You asked. 

"I work in forensics. At the GCPD." Edward answered.  

"That's cool. I do Y/J." You said. 

"Interesting." 

"Yeah. It puts bread on the table." You laughed. 

"Personal question- have you ever been in a relationship?" He asked. 

"To be honest, no. Unless you count what I come up with in my imagination." You joked, smiling at him. 

"I've only been in one relationship." Edward said, looking to you. 

"Really? Who?" 

"Ms. Kringle. Unfortunately, she left. With a no good brute, excuse me." He said. 

"Oh, that sucks. You don't deserve something like that." You said sympathetically. 

" 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." Edward smiled. 

"I guess that's true." You shrugged. You and Edward stopped in front of a bookstore. You looked to him. "Wanna go in?"

"Why not?" He replied, and you went inside the bookstore. The walls were lined with books and there were shelves in the center of the room. 

"Wow!" You said in amazement. "What should we get?"

"I know what I'm buying." Edward held up a puzzle book and smiled. You looked around for a bit, and then you spotted something. You ran over and picked up the book, hugging it close. 

"They have it!" You held up the book, which was F/B. 

"Looks interesting. Let's go pay." You and Edward went to the counter to pay. You left the store and stood outside. 

"I have to get going. They'll need me at the GCPD." Edward said. 

"That's fine. Hopefully we'll cross paths again." You said, a bit disappointed he had to go. 

"Perhaps. Goodbye, Y/N." Edward waved to you and walked away, and as you watched him go, you smiled a bit. 


	19. Scarecrow x Reader

"Interesting..." You said to yourself as you watched the chemicals in the flask bubble over the Bunsen burner. You wrote notes down in your notebook and looked over to Jonathan. "How's it coming, Jonathan?"

"No, no it's not right, not how I want..." He muttered to himself as he was looking at his flask. He huffed and turns the Bunsen burner off and let the chemicals in the flask settle to cool. 

"What's wrong?" You asked. 

 "It's not working, Y/N! No matter what I do, I can't get it right! It has to be perfect!" Jonathan yelled, grabbing his hair in frustration. 

 "Well...what say we...take a break?" You asked.

 "A break?" He asked. God, he works so much for so long he's forgotten what a break is.

 "Yeah, a break. C'mon, we can go and grab a bite in the cafeteria." You said, placing a hand on his shoulder. 

 "A break..." He muttered. He turns to face you. "That...does seem nice right now." 

 You smile and the two of you head to the cafeteria and walk to the vending machines. 

 "Hold on, I have some money." You said as you pulled out your wallet and took a couple dollar bills from it. "Do you want some chips or candy?"

 "Anything is fine, dear Y/N." He answered as he leaned against the wall. You reddened a little; Jonathan was always a little flirty. Not that you didn't mind, of course.

 "Okay, I'll grab a bag of Doritos for us to share." You said as you let the machine take your money. The metal spiral twists and your Doritos fall. You bend down to grab them and open the bag. Jonathan grabs a handful and shoves them into his mouth. 

 "It's been too long since I had food, oh, I miss the flavor on my tastebuds!" He said with his mouth full. You felt kinda bad for him.

 "Hey, maybe you should take some time off. Get some sleep." You suggested, placing a chip in your mouth. 

 He swallows and wipes his fingers on his lab coat. "What ever for? I must finish my work." 

 "But it's really stressing you out. When's the last time you've slept?" You asked.

 "Sleep? I don't have time to sleep! I have to finish! It's my first priority." 

 "Your first priority should be your health!" You argued. 

 "I'll take care of that later. First is the experiment!" 

 "You can't finish your experiment if you're sick and exhausted!" 

 "I'll push myself. Sickness is nothing. As for sleep, I have coffee." 

 You clenched the bag in a tight fist. Oh, he was always so stubborn! That stupid experiment has taken over his mind. You need to find a way to get the Jonathan you know back. You have an idea.

 "Listen, Jonathan. You'll finish your experiment. You'll get the results you want. But you need to relax. If not for you, then do it for me." You said, stepping closer to him. His cheeks turned red as he became flustered.

 "Do it...do it for you? But-" 

You silences his stuttering with a finger to his lips. You gave him your best puppy eyes. "Please, Jonny?" 

He continued to stutter incomprehensible words for a moment or two before taking in a deep breath and adjusting his glasses. "Okay. Okay, Y/N, I will try to relax."

 "Promise me." You said. 

He sighs and makes an X over his chest with his finger. "I promise. Cross my heart." 

 "Thanks, Jon." You said, wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug. 


	20. Jerome x FemReader Lemon

F/S = Favorite Show

 

"Y/N!" Jerome yelled from the bedroom. 

 "Yeah?!" You yelled back from your spot, not feeling like getting up to see what he wants.

"C'mere, hot stuff!" 

You groan loudly and stand up with exaggerated effort to walk to the bedroom. You trudge inside and stand in the doorway with your head leaned back. 

Jerome is laying on the bed with no clothing, just the sheets covering his dick. He's leaning back on his elbow and laying on his side with one leg folded upward. You can see a tent forming on the area of his dick. 

"So uh..." He looks down at his lower body and back at you. "Wanna fuck?" 

 You laughed at the casualness of his question and walk over to him, standing in front of him with his head at chest level. "Is this why you took me away from finishing the season finale of F/S?" 

 "Yes!" He nods.

You laugh some more and wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him to your chest. "Okay, we'll fuck. You're lucky I'm recording that shit." 

"Thats a good girl." Jerome grinned as he pulled you on top of him and laid on his back. He kisses you long and hard, nipping at your lips and dominating your mouth with his tongue. You let him; dominance is what Jerome loves, whether it's in the bed or out on the street. 

 "Clothes clothes clothes." He said urgently, roaming his hands down your sides. You comply, pulling your shirt over your head and your pants off your legs. They're kicked off the bed by a lustful Jerome and he attacks your underwear next. 

He unhooks your bra and slips it down your shoulders before firmly grabbing your breast. He plants his mouth on your skin and leaves a trail of kisses around your chest. He licks along your collarbone and moves up to make a hickey on your neck. 

You felt his other hand reach behind you and grab your ass. You move your hand to grab his and place it on your cheek. Jerome pulls the sheet away to reveal his erection and you push up against it. 

 "Pantiesss..." He said in a husky whisper and snaps the hem of them. You remove them, and Jerome pushes you on your back. He rubs his finger against your clit in a vertical motion. You bite your lip and lightly grab his wrist. He moves his finger down towards your vagina and slips it in. You can feel him move against the tight walls. He gives you a devilish look and slips another finger in, making you moan a little. 

He moves his hand in and out, curving his fingers slightly. You spread your knees out a little and pull him closer to kiss him. He adds a third finger and you arch your back. 

 "You're so wet." Jerome grins, pulling his fingers out and licking them slowly. Then he puts your legs over his shoulders and lowers his head. He flicks his tongue on your clit and you feel a tingling sensation. He starts moving up in broad licks along your labia. As he does this, you can feel him lightly stroke your thighs. 

After a while, he changes tactics and gently sucks your clit. You reach your hand out to run your fingers through his ginger hair. To your disappointment, he stops, but then he rubs the head of his dick against your wet area before pushing himself in. You let out a moan and Jerome grins as he holds his weight up and thrusts his hips. 

He thrusts harder, eliciting more moans from you. He leaves kisses on your neck and messily kisses your mouth. You wrap your legs around his waist to get more friction and bring your hands up to hold his scarred face.

You cry out his name when your orgasm hits and Jerome takes that as a cue to pull out before his orgasm comes. He looks at you with a satisfied grin and lays on top of you with his chin resting on his arm. You stroke his hair and admire the fluffiness. 

 "Still mad you missed your show?" He asked.

 "Mm. Less so." You answered, smiling too. 

 "Wanna go for round two?" 

 "Mm. Yes, please." 


	21. Clayface x Reader

"Thank God!" You sigh as you wipe your brow. You look at the clay pottery you finished glazing and decide it's time to out them in the kiln. You put them inside one by one and let the kiln do its work. 

This is what you do. You make pottery and then you sell them. Other people wouldn't like having to touch wet clay or spending hours sculpting the perfect pot or vase, but you don't mind. You loved it. It was one of your best talents.

You wash your hands and then you hear the bell on your door jingle, so can't head to the front to see who's here. It's a man. A rather handsome one, too. 

 "Hey. How can I help you?" You asked him. 

 The man looks around and says, "You make pottery?"

 "Yeah. Do you want to buy something?" 

 "No thanks. I have my own pottery to make." He answered.

 "You make pottery, too?" You asked. Finally, someone who likes getting their hands dirty. 

 "Yes. I'm very crafty when it comes to clay." He winks. 

"Oh yeah? Wanna come back and test your skills?" You smirked. He laughs and comes with you to the back where the kiln is. "I've got wet clay out. Why don't you show me your skills?"

The man stands in front of the table, grabs some clay and places it on the pottery wheel. As it spins, he shapes it, molding it into a vase. You're impressed at his work. Maybe you can let him help around here. 

"Not bad. How long have you been doing this?" You asked. 

 "Since I left the movie industry." He replied. 

 "You were an actor?"

 "Yes. But...they were making a remake of one of my movies. I was furious. That was a classic movie! You can't fix what isn't broken!" 

 "And you couldn't bear to go on knowing that they did that?" 

 "No... What is your name?"

 "I'm Y/N. What's yours?" You asked.

 "I am Basil Karlo." 

 "Oh, I know you! I love your movies. They really are classics." You remarked.

 "Thank you. You know, you are very beautiful." He said, giving you a charismatic grin.

 "You're very handsome as well, Mr. Karlo." You blushed.

 He takes your hand and wraps his arm around your waist. "Please, call me Basil."

 "Alright, Basil." You said, the flush in your cheeks not going away. You were standing here with  _the_  Basil Karlo. He was one of your favorite actors in the horror movie genre. Basil lets you go and turns serious.

 "You must know something important, though, Y/N. The reason I couldn't be an actor anymore. I turned myself into an abomination. I have clay instead of flesh."

 "Um...okay."

 "If you don't believe me, feast your eyes on my true appearance." Basil's body begins to shape itself. He gets bigger and becomes more like clay. His face is replaced by two black voids and a gaping mouth.

 "Well that's not so bad. You can make pottery out of yourself." You said, touching his clay body.

 "Why aren't you scared? Why haven't you run away?" He asked, a confused look on his face.

 "I've seen your movies enough times that it doesn't bother me that you're a monster." You laughed.

 "Are you...for certain?" 

 "Yeah, I'm fine." You responded.

 "Hm. You are the first person not to be afraid of me."

 "Wanna help me make pottery?" You asked.

 "Yes. I will help you, Y/N." He smiled. 


End file.
